Has it been that long?

I really wanted to name this post "Are you uncomfortable yet?" but when I saw that it has been WELL OVER A MONTH since I posted...I was stunned...

For those wondering...YES! We are still BF and it is such a blessing!

We had Par's check-up last in February and I got to finally thank Elayne in person for her help with Par over a year ago. She was my support and encourager--her patience was astounding--I learned a lot from her. I also learned a lot about Par...and to get right down to it...I learned a lot about me. As we now work on our new hurdle of getting this precious little boy to pack on the pounds--I am so thankful to still be BF him...because it is a great source of fat and calories--and he burns the least amount of calories while taking it in--not to mention the benefit the act of BF has given him with his lungs.

But...my alternate blog title..."Are you uncomfortable yet?"...I have a personal trainer...he isn't training me for anything specific--he just helps me do the machines correctly when I work out and helps me progress to the world of pre-baby body (which really I need pre-college body--but I'll settle for pre-baby). He is really nice and has a son Par's age--we are the same age and he keeps me entertained. Here is the uncomfortable problem--he doesn't know I am still breastfeeding.
So why is this a problem? Well...for one...it seems that several times I have left the facility feeling great only to see in the mirror that I had leaked--I'm sure my trainer just figured I was sweating...gasp...
At the point that I realize this embarrassing misfortune--I have already left--and I try to convince myself that no one noticed anyway...thus, convincing myself there is no reason to mention anything to him.
The other reason he doesn't know is because at this point it seems random if I were to mention it--there have been plenty of times that it would have been appropriate to mention (like when he asked if Par ever had eating problems or weight gain problems)--but I never mentioned it--and here is why...He's a guy my age and I can't help think that mentioning my child BF would conjure up inappropriate visuals for him--this guy that sees me at my worst as it is--sweating and struggling while I work out...and it bothers me that I feel that way--but the world has sexualized breasts so much that I feel protective over this precious relationship--and I just don't want to have the conversation or have to defend it with a man. I realize I could help the cause by speaking out (but come on, I do blog about it!) but I choose to remain silent in this instance. Am I a terrible person? No...but I wish I had been more open with it in the very beginning of working out...I will next time.
So at this point my trainer thinks I have sweaty breasts--and sometimes just one sweats...and sometimes I wear a pashmina while I work out and readjust it over and over again...
Lesson learned? I need to buy breast pads.
Laughing...thank goodness these are my worries right now...much better than when my precious baby was fighting for his life in the NICU...praise the Lord for leaking Mommy Milk!!

And while I am a huge BF advocate (though silent in some instances) this is ridiculous...and I know I have mentioned this before...but take a look here!

Little did I know...

...that my extended breastfeeding may have significantly helped my son and his lung growth.

As many of you know, my son Par was diagnosed with Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia at 21 weeks gestation. Our start was rough--and our road to breastfeeding was L O N G--but all worth it, of course! Because of Par's CDH his lungs and heart were smushed by his stomach, spleen, kidneys, bowels throughout his life in the womb and not able to grow properly--thus, when he was born he was unable to breathe on his own--just one little lung and one little lung bud.
After his repair surgery to put it all back and a month on the ventilator--his little lungs began to expand and grow. After 3 more months on oxygen he was finally able to breathe without any help.
During all of this--in an effort to give him the best food possible and because I wanted to experience at least some normal part of motherhood (Par is my 1st baby)--I was VERY determined to breastfeed him. It was not without challenges--every bit of encouragement went a long way--and the information I am about to share may have made it even easier to persevere.
In a recent article--found here-- the doctor claims that the act of suckling itself improves lung development if breastfeed for 4 months or longer (not just breastmilk, but actually breastfeeding). It is a very interesting article and I am even more excited to see how little Par's lungs look at our appointment in February--and I can't wait to share this info with Dr. Kays.
To see the fruits of my labor...go here!